Sunrise 14er, Colorado’s Free Therapy Session

14,309 feet of transformation

By: Paige Japinga / 6 minute read

“Quack. Quack. Quack. Quack.”

My eyes open and I am on a frantic search to shut off the world’s most annoying alarm. As I finally discover my phone somewhere above my pillow, the duck’s call fades into the distance and the stillness of the night creeps back in.

It’s 2 a.m. Time to get moving. “You don’t have to go through with this,” my ego says. “Turn over, go back to sleep.” I know better than to listen to her. She’s kept me from reaching my goals before out of pride or fear. But not today.

I stir and prepare for our departure for the Uncompahgre peak trailhead, only a short walk away from our campsite at the Nellie Creek Campgrounds located in Colorado’s San Juan mountain range. Minutes later, I find myself walking towards a light in the distance. “Goooood morning!” says my best friend, Mercedes, a little too chipper. She’s the reason I’m practically sleepwalking up one of Colorado’s 14ers (mountain peaks exceeding 14,000 feet.) When Mercedes invited me to walk alongside her on this adventure, I could not refuse.  

For the first hour, each step of the way feels unbelievably heavy. I quietly reflect on the choices that led me to where I am in life. I’m 27 years old and living what I thought was a perfect life —  at least on the surface that’s what it seemed to be. On the inside, it is far from perfect.

I spent the last eight years strategically planning each step of my career to only be fooled by the illusion of a fancy title. Oh, and to make matters worse, I am newly single and have been numbing my sadness and fractured self-worth with bottles of wine while binge-watching NetFlix in the bathtub. This phase of my life feels as if I am drowning in uncertainty, failure, confusion, disappointment, and sadness. I feel like the fool who invests their life savings into a fraudulent scheme that everyone else knows to avoid! Everyone seems so happy with their life choices, what am I missing?

Mercedes recognized my struggle and extended the invitation to summit Uncompahgre Peak to catch the sunrise. At the time, I thought she might have lost her mind. I knew it wasn’t uncommon to summit a 14ner for sunrise, but couldn’t she see I was going through something and this wasn’t a good time for me?

Now as I followed Mercedes up the mountain, realize she had seen my struggles and she was giving me what I really needed: an opportunity to step out of my perpetual negative cycle.

Uncompahgre Peak is considered a moderate class 2 14er and is just under four miles to the summit with around 3,000 elevation gain. Starting at 11,400 feet, we followed the well trekked-out path to a ridgeline around 13,800 feet. From there, the clear path lost its definition and we found ourselves carefully scrambling up the loose terrain in the darkness.

While Mercedes cheerfully trailblazes the way, I reluctantly follow, trying to keep up with her energizer bunny pace. “It’s pitch black besides the immediate area illuminated by your headlight,” that negative voice inside whispers. “You are literally on the side of a mountain that stands 14,309 tall! oh, and it’s 4 am! Another bad choice, well-done paige! ” But it’s too late to give up now.

“We’re almost there!” Shouts Mercedes.

Finally, a path becomes clear, making the rest of the way to the summit seems like a breeze compared to the terrain we just scaled.

By the time we arrive at the summit, it’s 5:20 a.m. — 25 minutes earlier than expected. That should have been an accomplishment to celebrate, but for one new challenge: sunrise is not until 5:45.

We spent the last three hours sweating and now we are sitting on an exposed mountain top surrounded by the frigid mountain air. We quickly exchange our sweaty layers for the dry ones in our packs and sit in the dark watching the horizon slowly start to glow. As the winds pick up, my fingers and feet are completely numb. I am frozen physically, mentally, and emotionally.

As each minute slowly passes, the sun’s glow begins to penetrate the surrounding areas and eventually our frozen bodies. The mountains in the distance begin to illuminate in their natural beauty and tears begin to run down my face. The sun’s radiance provides me with a slow and steady stream of warmth, energy, and life to my body. It was a complete shock to my system and to my entire being. That ego voice is silent too. Together we sit in awe and watch this beautiful giant light, the central organizing force of our entire existence, transforms everything it touches, including me.

In many ways, my time on Uncompahgre Peak provided me with the perfect dose of nature’s medicine. Being frozen on top of a mountain in complete misery was Mother Nature’s strange way of showing me that I was choosing to experience my life circumstances through the state of fear. I was frozen emotionally, afraid to make another decision for my life. My eight-year ascent up the corporate ladder may have looked successful, but it led me down a path of denying my own passions and sense of self. I was so out of touch with my true self that I didn’t even recognize this. It took the sun’s illuminating power to remind me of who I really am.

In many ancient forms of divination, the sun represents our strengths, passions, creativity, and the life force or energy of an individual. The sun calls us to acknowledge and harness our own unique genius, and to radiate it outward into the world with confidence.

Now, each day when I see that bright light moving across the brilliant blue Colorado sky, I am reminded of who I am, what I stand for, and how to confidently radiate my unique light out into the world. Each day, I smile and thank the sun for continuing to illuminate my life path and for helping me to unlock the key to my being just as it had on Uncompahgre Peak.