Be Kind to Your Mind
At We Wave, we love to talk about the importance of demonstrating kindness to others. But how good are you at showing kindness to yourself?
Psychologists call it “self-compassion” and, contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t mean avoiding reality, lying to yourself, or boosting self-esteem. Self-compassion is being kind to yourself by witnessing difficult thoughts without self-criticism,
“With self-compassion we mindfully accept that the moment is painful, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience,” says Dr. Kristin Neff, co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion and associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. “This allows us to hold ourselves in love and connection, giving ourselves the support and comfort needed to bear the pain, while providing the optimal conditions for growth and transformation.”
Being kind to your mind is being your own best friend and advocate — that person you can call and spill your guts to without judgment. These types of friends are one in a million, and we value them because they provide a sense of psychological safety for us so we can express ourselves freely within their warm and receptive presence. Neff believes responding to your own perceived inadequacies as your best friend would can bring about tremendous shifts in your personal experience of everyday life.
Studies on self-compassion point to the positive effects it has on our overall health and well-being. Here are three reasons to be kind to your mind and treat yourself like your own best friend.
Your Body Will Thank You
Thoughts can — and do — become physical manifestations. For example, negative self-talk and stress often lead to harmful habits such as overeating, smoking, and excessive drinking. These activities may bring immediate relief, but often create a vicious cycle of self-loathing.
Research shows that people who practice self-patience and acceptance display lower stress levels and tend to treat their bodies with greater respect. Self-compassionate folks have healthier eating habits, smokeless, and participate in many health-promoting behaviors, such as regular medical checkups, routine exercise, etc.
You Recover Quicker From Setbacks
Likewise, when self-compassion is a part of our inner dialogue, we tend to respond to setbacks or perceived failures with acceptance rather than judgment. When we view our mistakes as valuable experiences on how to move forward in life, we are far more likely to try again. In turn, demonstrating resiliency builds self-confidence and reinforces positive attitudes.
You feel more connected to others
Self-compassion helps us recognize that suffering and feeling inadequate are part of a shared experience called being human. When we are kind to ourselves, we accept that perceived failures and setbacks are inevitable and not exclusively unique to our individual experience. All humans go through the ups and downs of life. Difficulties don’t just happen to “me.” Embracing the human experience ultimately creates feelings of connection instead of isolation. And the connection with others expands your potential and makes you more resilient.
How can you start practicing self-compassion?
The first step is recognizing and acknowledging your inner critic. Just like waving to a friend, the next time negative self-thoughts arise, say hello to them! Rather than rejecting your feelings of inadequacy, embrace your full humanity. Then perhaps try some of Dr. Neff’s free guided practices to help you cultivate self-compassion. You may discover that by cultivating self-kindness you’re also spreading kindness around the world.
